Last week I drove to San Diego for my son’s wedding. Helping him and his fiancee put the final touches on their plans, then stepping back and participating in each event, I experienced joy over and over, breath-stopping joy. And in unexpected places.
I think grandparents experience weddings and funerals differently than young people. These life-affirming events bring families back together – grandparents, adult children, grandchildren, partners; aunts, uncles, cousins. We warm to see friends and family members who live far away from one another talking together once again – eating together, dancing together. We notice the elderly among us, more frail than they were the last time we were gathered together. We notice the new babies and the growing children, the young couples and the older, sometimes reconstituted couples. While we are joyful for the new couple, or grieving an old friend, there are many stories in each gathering of loved ones, and as elders, we often find joy and a feeling much like happiness at learning the latest chapters.
At this wedding, I watched two thirty-something brothers and their younger sister on the dance floor, teaching one another and their partners some new moves. Then I saw their parents leaning over a railing to watch them, beaming with pride. Watching this family, united for the weekend, was joy for the taking.
The bride’s mother spent much of the weekend delighting in the company of her own three brothers who 
live in far distant cities. As she introduced them to each of us in turn, always with a story, it was clear to see that their very presence was a source of joy to her.
I saw parents dancing with children (seven high chairs perched among the festive tables); carrying them on shoulders or in cloth carriers as they strolled the lovely gardens; chasing them when a child took off in gales of laughter. Seeing her nieces’ happiness when John’s bride leaned down and took their hands for a dance, I felt joy once again.
I even found joy in the decorations. The couple chose succulents in combination with eucalyptus and grape; they were lovely, but more than that, they spoke to permanence, and stewardship of the earth, and harmony.
John and Emily served pie instead of wedding cake. That seems to be what is trending these days, but I’ve given it some thought, and I think it’s a great change. Pie is, well, as American as going over the river and through the wood to Grandmother’s house. Pie is substantial, and reminds us of cozy kitchens and roaring fires. And eating pie – well, it makes me pretty happy. And watching a reception full of people eating pie, feeding it to their children and to one another . . . yes, you guessed it. That sight brought me joy.
What brings you joy?
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