Thanksgiving is the Great American Holiday. Even more than at Christmas, family members travel thousands of miles to sit around a lavishly prepared table and eat some variation on the meal that the Puritans and the Wampanoag Indians cooked during their three day Thanksgiving celebration in 1621.

Various traditions are maintained in different families: Some watch football before or after the meal. This year they can choose from the Bears vs the Lions, the Redskins vs the Cowboys, and the Falcons vs the Saints. Other families always watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade while they cook.  The televised parade starts at 9:00 am. Eastern time this year, and may or may not include huge helium balloons, due to predicted high winds.

I have friends who look forward to board games, old videos, and walks through the neighborhood.

But the key element here is family. Uncle George, Great Aunt Minnie and Grandma are all fetched from their retirement villages, sisters and brothers and cousins fly into the nearest airport or drive outrageous numbers of hours for the opportunity to replay the family Thanksgiving once again.

That is, unless there has been a divorce, a death, or serious illness in the family. Or unless one or more members live many miles from the rest of the family. Or unless certain members of the family have to work.

The truth is, only about a third of American families collect in the way that Hallmark and Kodak would have us believe they do.  The rest of us face Thanksgiving alone, or with a diminished collection of shirttail relatives or friends.

If you are expecting to spend Thanksgiving by yourself, do not despair. There are lots of us out here who do that regularly. And it’s not so bad.  In my case, because I made a deal with my children’s father thirty years ago that they could spend Thanksgiving with him so long as they would spend Christmas with me, my kids tend to spend Thanksgiving with their father or their father’s family even today, or since they are all married, they spend it with their in-laws. Last year was an exception: it was my 70th birthday and all four of my adult children came to my house for Thanksgiving with their families. It was special, and I’ll enjoy that memory for many years. But my guess is it won’t be repeated any time soon.

As Thanksgiving approached this year, I recognized that I was going to be alone unless I did something about it. Just before I started to slip into the Slough of Despond (ref The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyon), I realized that many of my age-mates were facing the same situation.  That night I sent email invitations to several community groups that I belong to   — my exercise class, book club, writing group, gardening club etc., — and soon I had RSVPs from a table-full of friends I hadn’t met yet. I agreed to provide the house and the table, turkey, gravy and dressing, and each of my guests is bringing a side dish. Several are also bringing board games, and I’m only a mile from the coastal walking path. I’m looking forward to it – I’m sure we’ll have a lovely time.

There are lots of things you can to celebrate Thanksgiving, even if you are alone.

1. You can cook exactly what you want for Thanksgiving dinner and eat it yourself while you watch your favorite movie on TV (or the game, or the parade).

2. You can skip the turkey entirely and take yourself to your favorite sushi restaurant.

3. You can volunteer at one of the many Thanksgiving feasts being prepared for the hungry and the homeless people of your community by churches and nonprofits, Veterans organizations, American Legion, and other groups.

4. You can go to a movie.

No matter how you choose to spend this holiday, don’t get caught up in the hype – not all families, even the happy ones, are sitting around a table together this Thanksgiving. Some are working in hospitals, restaurants, theaters, hotels, etc. Others are finding ways to serve others in their community, and still others are gathering with friends and neighbors. As a commemoration of the first Thanksgiving, I know that this holiday has a special place in school curriculum, calendars, greeting cards, and department stores, and we tend to buy into the mythology of how we should celebrate it.

But as an opportunity to take one day out of the year and think about all we have to be thankful for, and to give back a bit to others who may not have so many blessings, Thanksgiving has a special place in my heart.

Happy thanks giving, friends!

Marlene