Back to Normal?
Sitting in a rest stop last week, two hours south of Santa Cruz and a third of the way to my destination, I was overwhelmed with the beauty of it all. People coming and going, politely walking around one another, everyone masked, the hot breeze refreshing tired drivers — it almost felt normal. We could have been at any rest stop on any highway in America.
After I finished my lunch and was back on the road, I stopped the audiobook I had been listening to and just admired the view. Highway 101 is a beautiful drive, and it was a gorgeous time of year to be driving it.
I will be heading south again next week, this time for at least a year, so I thought it was time to check in with all of you, apologize for my absence on this board, and let you know what is going on.
After spending Christmas in San Fernando Valley with my son and his family, I returned home to chilly Santa Cruz and soon realized that I had been without joint pain during my whole visit, nearly two weeks. Coincidence? I don’t think so. After ten years in Santa Cruz, which I love, I am ready for a change of climate, and now that our world is opening up again, this seems like a good time.
My son and his wife offered me the best possible incentive to return south and test out my theory that warm dry weather will be better for my arthritic joints than the damp cool air of Santa Cruz. They are expecting a second child in July, and, once I told them I was thinking of moving south, asked me to take care of her when she arrives.
Those of you who have been with me for more than four years will remember that I took care of their first child, now a pistol of a four-year-old. For six months, she was my constant companion, and even today we are best of friends. I said “yes” and began looking for a place to live.
Moving On
My son actually found the apartment complex I’ll be moving into, in Calabasas, and I am looking forward to my new life. He vetted the neighborhood, toured two apartments with his iPhone at hand, and sent me a virtual tour with loving commentary. I have rented my house to a lovely family, and have spent the last month sorting my belongings into “Brings me Joy” and “Find a new home for this.”
I originally moved to Santa Cruz to help my daughter take care of her baby. Stella is now ten, and brings her video games with her when she visits. Caring for her was also a wonderfully fulfilling experience, but both my daughter and my granddaughter have a full and rich life, and I no longer feel needed here.
Looking to the Future
Downsizing from a three-bedroom home to a one-bedroom apartment has been a herculean effort, and I’m exhausted. I haven’t written a word since my last blog post, and I’m about to receive my revision of Organic Cooking for (not-so-organic) Mothers back from the publisher for final editing, so I thought I’d start slowly by writing a few letters, some thank you cards, and this blog.
I’d love to hear from any of you who have gone through this painful downsizing process – especially if you have any wise words of support to offer me. I feel good now that I’ve given away most of my furniture and books, and tons of things I don’t use any more (Mason jars, canning pot, hundreds of labels, oh my!), but there is a sadness, too, in admitting that I’ll probably not need my backpack or camping equipment again, or all those watercolor books I never read.
Looking forward, however, I hope for a simpler life, new friends, and less pain.
Please let me hear from you.
Marlene
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Marlene Anne Bumgarner moved to the California coast when her first grandchild was born. The author of The Book of Whole Grains, Organic Cooking for (not-so-organic) Mothers and Working with School Age Children, her latest book is Back to the Land in Silicon Valley.
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Wow, Marlene! Big changes coming. I will miss you hugely, so I hope you find time to keep the blog going. Best wishes as you downsize and head south for new adventures!
Thank you, Gail! I will definitely be more active on my blog; it’s a great way to stay in touch and keep myself writing.
Marlene
You will be missed. Glad you found a place that makes you feel better physically. What a wonderful opportunity to create a special bond with each grandchild by being with them when they are young.
As far as the downsizing, I don’t have to do that yet but clutter—particularly of paper has been an ongoing issue for me. I have even started working with Clare of the Home Weeder, a declutterer, for 2 hours once a week & plan to plug along till the whole house & garage are done.Having someone impartial, helpful and with a sense of humor has been non threatening as I let go of things. I must say there are few things I really have missed once I have let them go.
Dukh,
Thank you for your kind words. I think that working a couple of hours a week is a great idea. I wish I’d started years ago. I did hire a woman who specializes in helping seniors downsize, and she was a big help.
I hope this, my third attempt, will reach you! I learned from a friend that , instead of focusing on what she could get rid of, she focused on what she wanted to see and keep with her – paintings, furniture, jewelry, and keepsakes, clothes – and that positive approach seemed like a good idea to me!
If you have amoment, I would love to have you stop by my house sometime before you leave !
Gabrielle,
That is a wonderful suggestion. I will try to keep it in mind as I go through the last of my packing. And I’d be delighted to stop by your house – perhaps for a cup of tea? I’ll send you a private message about that. Thank you my friend.
Dear Marlene,
Downsizing and leaving your home of ten years may be scary initially but you will embark on a new journey with your improved health. I am so excited for you. You will make new friends and may even be able to teach writing at a local college or senior center. You have so many talents to share with us in Southern California.
May the good Lord bless you on your new adventure.
Warmly,
Sharon k.
Thank you, Sharon!
Go, Marlene.
Sounds like a good move!!
Beth
Thanks for your support, Beth.
Marlene
Oh my goodness, Marlene! How exciting! You never cease to inspire me with your willingness to embrace new adventures. It’s more than willingness, though; it’s your enthusiasm for the not-yet-known. I can absolutely imagine the bittersweet feeling of saying goodbye to things such as the camping equipment…*and* I can also imagine how freeing it will be to have pared down your possessions. People talk about the psychic weight of all our stuff—no doubt you’re experiencing this firsthand! Wishing you safe travels and looking forward to hearing more.
Thank you, Helen. Some days I waver, but generally I am looking forward to this new adventure.
Good to hear from you!